“There is no such thing as fake love.”
There is no such thing as “fake love”. Contrary to popular memes, social media posts, and pop songs.
Everything in existence from the air we breathe, to the ground under our feet, including you and I, were created from love.
Love is unquestionably real.
It is innate in ALL of us, even the Jeffrey Dahmers of the World.
Yes! At his core, Jeffrey’s heinous acts were a cry for love in the form of rage.
*Sidebar: Rage comes from feeling trapped, confused, and afraid. When we desire to experience love but don’t possess the emotional intelligence to express that desire nor recognize when love is being presented, it manifests as rage. Rage comes in many forms from a quiet retreat, and self-destructive behaviors like overeating and alcoholism, to fatal violence. *
Our beliefs about what love means are triggered when we encounter people that vibrate at that familiar frequency.
Then, we compare how love is reciprocated between us and another person. If my way of showing love to a friend means calling them once a month to catch up, but their interpretation of love is us speaking every day, it is possible my behavior could be misconstrued as “fake love”.
This is where we as a collective confuse the so-called act of love with our personal beliefs which fuel behavior patterns that we have learned through our unique experiences.
Now let’s look at another scenario.
You have a good friend you consider to be family. Every time you get together with your friend, she makes questionable remarks about you in front of other people.
It makes you feel uncomfortable when she does this because it is not your way of expressing love to someone you consider family.
However, it could be the way her family expressed love when she was growing up.
These are two contrasting ideas about how to show love. For you, this could feel like “fake love”. For her, it’s the only way she knows how to express her love due to her upbringing.
It’s also a sign that she might be insecure because the healthier way you express love highlights the flaws in the way she expresses it.
This triggers that rage that I spoke about earlier. Wanting to experience what she thinks love is but doesn’t quite know how to grasp it. Remember rage comes in varying levels.
This doesn’t mean that she does not love you in her own way, it means that she lacks a healthier option to display her love due to minimal emotional intelligence.
Most people who did not grow up in a household where emotional intelligence was taught have a deficiency in the way they give and receive love.
Therefore, it is important for us to understand that love exists in ALL things even in its cruelest forms. I am not saying that you should accept unhealthy abusive expressions of love.
I certainly do NOT!
I am saying that having the ability to see through a different lens expands our awareness and allows us to have a different experience even when we are confronted with seeming “fake love”.
Our past experiences and painful memories cause us to refrain from giving ourselves fully to another person. Especially if we hold them in high regard.
This can be triggering for the recipient who may also have memories of disappointment and betrayal. They begin to retreat and go into protection and defense mode.
This is a typical stand-off between two people who truly admire one another but are also intimidated by the other’s power to possibly deceive them.
The only real problem is neither person is standing in their own power.
Instead, they are both holding each other responsible for their own internal condition.
When we place expectations of happiness on external conditions be it people, places, or things, we set ourselves up for failure.
Usually behind the expectation for the good thing lies the expectation of disappointment.
There is never a moment that passes when we are NOT creating our reality.
“Fake Love” only exists because we’ve been taught to expect it on some level.
Manifestation 101 is all about expecting our concentrated thought and core feelings to manifest in 3D. That includes the desired outcome and the contrast.
One of the exercises I give to my Breaking Chains Overcoming Codependency group is to reflect on a relationship that left them feeling betrayed.
Then, try to count the number of times they expected something to go wrong in that relationship and how the expectation made manifest.
This is an intriguing experiment and I challenge you to do this over the next week and write down each instance you can recall.
Remember, our fears are just as strong as our desires. When we learn to harness and transmute fear into power, then we have begun to Master the Mind.
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About the author:
Shara Prophet, C.Ht. is a speaker, expert lecturer, Certified Hypnotherapist, Mystic, and author of The B.E.M.A.G.I.C. Manifestation Workbook. She specializes in personal development and behavior modification and is the founder of Open Door Hypnosis and The B.E.M.A.G.I.C. School. Shara created this blog to teach people “cheat codes” to live a more healthy, peaceful, and prosperous life. She was recently featured on OWN in the Dark Girl’s 2 Documentary.